Saturday, January 13, 2018

I Have Anxiety ( Currently Undiagnosed)


Hey guys,

So this is a topic that I have wanted to write about but always stopped myself but with some current personal things that are happening, I felt the need to write about this. One of my big goals for this blog was to help people and I hope that me writing about my own experience talking about my anxiety helps at least one person. I was going back and fourth with what the title of this post should be. The two titles that I thought about were "Admitting There Is A Problem" and "I Have Anxiety (Currently Undiagnosed)", and by the title of this post you can tell which one I chose to use. I didn't go with the other title because anxiety is not a problem. Yes, it affects your daily life but it doesn't make you any difference of a person. You may just get scared, nervous, really anxious and more. It doesn't change who you are or make you a bad person. You shouldn't be ashamed that you have anxiety.

I cannot remember a time when I didn't have anxiety.  Being in school surrounded with other kids and adults made me really nervous and on top of that I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when I was younger, which you can click here to read about my experience with that. I feel like I have overcame that a lot but I do still have anxiety. Within the past month, my mom gave me some papers from when I was younger. One of those papers were from a Psychiatric Consultation that was done on me when I was ten years old. One of the reasons for referral besides my Selective Mutism was "High anxiety". So if I do my math correctly, I have had anxiety for almost 17 years (Since March 2001).

I remember being really nervous to go up in front of class to do presentations in middle and high school, but in some classes, the teacher was very encouraging and supportive and so were my classmates. In my senior year, I remember taking science quizzes and tests in the teacher consultant's office because I would see my classmates finishing really quickly and it made me go faster because I didn't want to be the last one done. When I would rush on quizzes and tests, I would more than likely not do that well. My accounting teacher in my senior year made me retake a test because I think she might have noticed that I was rushing and didn't want to be the last one done. Instead of failing like the first attempt at the test, when she made me retake it (also do the review all over again), if I remember correcting I got a C on the retake. Teachers like her is what we need more of; encouraging, believing in you and supportive.

If you have anxiety you may not experience it the same way that others who also have anxiety. My anxiety makes me feel really nervous to take the bus because of many unfamiliar people and the fear of getting off at the wrong stop and then getting lost in a location where I'm unfamiliar with and the fear of something happening to me because I am tiny and weak. I just turned 27 and I don't have my license yet because I'm afraid that I'm going to get into a crash or turn into the wrong lane resulting in causing a crash. I am unemployed because I get really nervous before interviews and when I go into the interview even though they say that they will get back to me, they never do or I get the call that they went with someone else. And I won't lie, being in bad relationships hasn't helped my anxiety at all but I'm really happy to say that my boyfriend is one of my biggest supporters and I know his family is as well. And I truly truly appreciate that with all of my heart.

At the beginning of this month (with the suggestion of my boyfriend), I applied for Medicaid to be able to get help with going to therapy and getting on medication to help my anxiety at least calm down a little bit. I don't like the idea of taking medication everyday but I feel like I need to to make myself better. I am in the process of getting all of that figured out and sending them paperwork. If I am not accepted, I will do research to see if there is any other resources that can help me.

I also wanted to write this post because of some family members and friends who has asked me in the past, "Why don't you have your license?" or "Why don't you have a job?" I just felt like it was easier to type this whole thing out rather than explaining to them all individually and I'm a little tired of them repeatedly asking me. I also wanted to write about my experience with anxiety to help at least one person out there who also is going through anxiety or feel like they have anxiety but haven't been diagnosed.

<3 Amanda

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Anti-Bullying YouTube Families

Hey guys,

I sadly have been bullied the majority of my life and I just turned 27 recently. One of the goals I had for my blog is to be a part of stopping bullying because it doesn't do any good for anyone. Being a part of social media, I have seen others promoting anti-bullying as well on their social media accounts, whether that is YouTube, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. Two YouTube families that I noticed right away that they were role model families and are anti-bullying are The Bos Life and The Tannerites. Now, I'm not saying there are not any other YouTube families who are anti-bullying, these are the two that I have noticed that has made a big impact on many people recently.

You can find the Bos Life here. They posted an anti-bullying video last month which really meant a lot to me because like I said above, I've been bullied the majority of my life and I'm only 27. You can view the video by clicking here. They created a hashtag; #BeCool. Being a bully is not cool. What cool is being nice to everyone because they might be going through things that you are not aware of. If you're a bully, how would you feel if it was the opposite and you were the one getting bullied?  To me, The Bos Family is a family that I really look up to as role models because whenever I watch their videos I just get this good feeling inside. Thank you Bos Family for being a great role model to not just me but I know a lot more of your subscribers. Thank you for being a good influence and making a great impact on social media.

You can find The Tannerites here. Their whole motto is "You Are Worth It". I think that's a great motto to have and to express to others because everyone IS worth it.  Whenever you see someone sad, upset, down, even happy, you should tell them that they are worth it because you might not see their true real feelings that they might be hiding deep down inside of them.  Johnny and Sarah are also great role models to all of their subscribers. Thank you for being a good influence and making a great impact on social media.

I definitely recommend these 2 YouTube Families. If you ever need some cheering up or a smile, you will feel better after watching their videos. Remember, you don't gain anything from being a bully!

<3 Amanda

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

What I Got For Christmas/My Birthday From My Boyfriend/ His Family

Hey guys,

I meant to get this post published earlier but then I got hit with a really bad stuffy nose, which hopefully is going away and all I wanted to do was take it easy and sleep. A few days after Christmas, I spent a few days with my boyfriend and his family to celebrate Christmas and also my birthday (the 28th). I wanted to show you guys what I received from them. By all means, I'm not showing off in any ways. I am grateful for everything that I received. If I know where the items are from, I'll mention it.

From My Boyfriend <3

The blue box was for Christmas and the black box was for my birthday. So pretty!  :)

From His Sister:

Chocolate (there were more. lol)  :)

From His Dad And His Girlfriend:

From His Cousin And Her Family:

From His Other Cousin:

From His Aunt:

The boots came from Wal-mart and I'm pretty sure the other items came from Kohls (I remember cutting a Kohls tag off).  The leggings and black jacket were for Christmas and the rest was for my birthday.

I Don't Remember Who This Was From:

If my boyfriend or his family is reading this, I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel special and loved on my birthday. I had a great day!

<3 Amanda 

Monday, January 1, 2018

2018 Goals

Hey guys,

I can't believe that it's already 2018. Nine years ago, I graduated from high school.  The years have flown by. I really hope 2018 is a good year for me and makes me happy. Here are a few of my goals for 2018:

  1. Hopefully get hired by someone. I'm tired of filling out applications, maybe getting an interview, going to interviews and then finding out that they don't want me or doesn't have any openings right now. Why the interview then? I don't understand.
  2. Blog more! It makes me happy when I see my posts views go up and the total page views go up.  I love that I can blog and maybe help someone through a difficult time or just make them smile.
  3. Get over my anxiety and learn how to drive. I get anxiety that I'm gonna cause a crash or turn into the wrong lane resulting in a crash. 

Do you have any goals for 2018? 

<3 Amanda 

Sunday, December 31, 2017

End Of 2017 Survey

Hey guys,

I decided to end this year with a fun survey about the year 2017. Hope you enjoy.

1. What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?
Rode on a motorcycle and it was the most scariest thing ever!! Never riding one again. I thought I was going fall back and get really injured or worse.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I honestly don't remember what my New Years' Resolutions were.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but a few friends announced pregnancies and some had their baby. My boyfriend's cousin had her baby.

4. What countries did you visit?

5. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
I would like to have more confidence in myself.

6. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 3rd is when I met my boyfriend in person and November 6th is when we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating with my bachelor's degree with a 3.96 GPA.

8. What was your biggest failure?
Giving certain people my time. But you live and you learn.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I'm pretty sure I had food poisoning.

10. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmm.. I don't remember everything I bought this year. I would say the Christmas gifts for my boyfriend and his family because I know they will smile and be happy, and I like making people smile and happy.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I had my graduation dinner with a few friends.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Ex boyfriend, and two other friends.

13. Where did most of your money go?
Probably honestly Five Below, or food.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting my now boyfriend. <3

16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
I don't have any particular song that will remind me of 2017.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier because this time last year I was recently ditched and being cheated on.
ii. thinner or fatter? Hmm.. I'm not sure honestly.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time on certain people.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Honestly, alone. And then two days later with my boyfriend and his family for a few days.

21. Did you fall in love in 2017?
Fell in love, was broken up with, fell in love again with such an amazing guy <3

22. How many one-night stands?

23. What was your favorite TV program?
We just have Netflix and Hulu. The two shows I watched were "The Mick" and "The Good Place".

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I mean I don't hate anyone because hate is a strong word, but I do strongly dislike a few individuals.

25. What was the best book you read?
Did I even read any books this year??? !!  Oops, I should change that for next year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I would say new country singers because country is my favorite genre of music.

27. What did you want and get?
My bachelor degree.

28. What did you want and not get?
Driver permit, have too much anxiety  :( Also, a job  :(

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
"Wonder Woman" was good in theater, "Beauty and The Beast" and "Coffee Shop" were good on Netflix.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Right now, I'm pre-typing this because I'll be out of town from the 27th- 1st. My birthday is the 28th and all I know of is that I'm hanging out with my boyfriend and his family. I'll be turning 27.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting a job finally!|

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?
Leggings and Jeggings!

33. What kept you sane?
Being able to come on here and publish my posts.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't really pay attention the politics. Pretty much all of them lie in one way or another to win.

35. Who did you miss?
Right now I'm missing my boyfriend and his family but I'll get to see them again in a few days!!!   :) :) :)

36. Who was the best new person you met?
My boyfriend  <3

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:
Believe in yourself!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
" 'Cause I know where I'm going, yes I do
And I know where I've been, yeah" (Queen Latifah - I Know Where I've Been /Hairspray).

<3 Amanda 

Saturday, December 30, 2017

My Top 7 Blog Posts Of 2017

Hey guys,

I was looking at which of my posts had the most views from you guys and here is what blogger tells me. I decided on doing my top 7 blog posts instead of a number like 5 or 10 because 7 is my favorite number. I'm going to be away from my laptop for a few days and will only be able to post on Facebook, Google Plus, Twitter and Instagram from my phone so these top 7 posts are as of in the morning of December 27th as I'll be leaving later today.
  1. The Act Of Giving Back (Operation Wa 
  2. National Sibling Day 
  3. April Fools Day Is No Joking Matter 
  4. Spring Break Staycation Ideas 
  5. Epilepsy Awareness Day - Purple Day 
  6. "Open When" Letters Topic Ideas 
  7. World's Autism Awareness Day 

Thank you to everyone who has read any of my blog posts this year. I really appreciate it. My goal for the end of the year was at least 15,000 page views and I'm happy 
to announce as of 12/27/2017 @ 12:37 AM I have a total of 16,236 page views! 

<3 Amanda 

Friday, December 29, 2017

Boyfriend Tag

Hey guys,

Since I'll be away from my laptop for a few days, I thought I would type this post out and have it scheduled to publish while I'm away since I won't have my laptop with me.  I hope you enjoy this boyfriend tag!   :)

1.What was your first impression of one another?

Amanda- He was quiet and nervous and I was too. I thought he was sweet because he got me a vase with a dozen pink roses, which is my favorite kind of flower and color.

Jesse- My first impression of Amanda was "Hey, She looks cute. I love her hair and smile, and oh she's got glasses like me. I'm gonna say hi"  :) (He based his first impression of me off seeing my profile for the first time).

2.Who said I love you first? He did.

3. What's your favorite thing about them?

Amanda- How happy he makes me, and that 99% he can make me happy when I'm feeling sad.

Jesse- We have quite a few things in common and text a lot, and chat on FB messenger a lot. ( We do talk a lot- Amanda)

4.When/where did we meet? We technically "met" on October 17th  on Plenty of Fish. We talked for a few weeks and then we actually met in person on November 3rd.

5. When did you meet the others' family?

Amanda- I met his sister, step dad, one of his aunts, his grandma and a cousin and her family the weekend I met him.

Jesse- I haven't yet

6. How long have we been together? We just had our 1 month on the 6th.

7. Who's older? He is (29 and as of yesterday 27)

<3 Amanda