When You Least Expects Love

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Until recently, throughout my life I have had 5 relationships and they all ended with me hurt. I have been broken up by a text, on Facebook chat, been abused,been cheated on and had a ex call off an engagement the year of the wedding. I have been told by family members and friends that my guy would show his face when I least expects it. I was starting to lose hope that he would show his face and thought maybe I was just meant to be single for the rest of my life.

Well, that changed very shortly after I started thinking that. I was on a dating website and there were other guys that I was messaging back but then I went on a profile and I thought he was really cute and was everything that I was looking for in a guy. I messaged him right then and he responded and we sent many messages back and fourth. We then started texting (and talking on the phone) and we have been non-stop texting one another. We decided to become a couple because we both have this feeling that we are meant to be.

I have never been this happy and smiled this much before.  He gives me so many compliments and I know he will always be there for me. Now, thinking about what my family members and friends has told me, I do believe that he came when I least expected him to come. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us!


<3 Amanda

Break Ups (Relationships)

Growing up, you'll meet a lot of people and possibly fall in love with a few and start a relationship with them. Sometimes though relationships just don't work out; it may be one-sided or it might be a mutual breakup. I'm just 25 years old but I have been through more than just one break-up.

I didn't have my first relationship until I was in my early 20's and it has been a few years so I don't remember his exact age, however I want to say he was 26. Since that was my first relationship, that breakup was hard as he just texted me during the day and broke things off that way. I felt like he didn't care that much about me as he just thought "Oh, I'll send her a text and break up with her". We were together for not even two month; I want to say a month and a half. His "reasoning" (well excuse) for breaking up was that I wasn't communicating with him like he wanted me to. The real reason was that I wouldn't do something with him so he got upset and put the break up blame on me. He asked me to hang out again and I agreed but I didn't get the happy feeling like I wanted to get back together with him, so I texted him saying I didn't think this will work out and kind of just ended things there. He then caught me hanging out with my following boyfriend and screamed at me and had me so close up against the wall that if he would have pushed me, I would have smashed my head. He was screaming at me asking me what I wanted. I screamed back at him and said “You know what I want? I want you to leave me alone". Soon after, I started receiving texts and Facebook messages from his mom and sister in law being abusive towards me. Since that night, I haven't had any communication with him although I know that he got married.

My next relationship wasn't the greatest either towards the end. We were together for almost 3 years and were engaged but he broke off the engagement earlier in the year that we were supposed to get married. During those (almost) three years, there were more than just a few breaks but I really loved him so I stayed with him. Thinking back, I don't know why I stayed with him as he was abusive towards me. He made me eat a frozen Hershey bar and that's sadly what happened to 2 of my front teeth, he pushed me and I fell onto the computer chair and also slammed one of my feet in a door making it all black and blue.  One night he told me that he was done so I went to his mom and told her that I'm done and that I was leaving. That night I went back to my mom's apartment. That break-up made me a mess. He wouldn't talk to me and he had his sister do everything which I think he should have dealt with everything because he was the one in the relationship, not her.  His family was the abusive type too towards me even though I wasn't the reason for the break-up. I later learned that he was talking to someone else behind my back and they soon started a relationship. He has tried to contact me a few times since then but I don't really want to talk to him so I just block him.

My third break-up was the first break-up that I have done. I saw on Facebook that he was adding girls who honestly look like porn stars so I texted him and asked him about it. His response was "What will happen if I remain friends with them?" Since we were not near one another and I had no way to get to him, I texted him and told him that I think we should break-up. His replied was "Okay, if that's what you want.” making it seemed like he didn't really care about me. I soon got the thought that he only wanted me for sex.

My most recent breakup was a mutual/one sided break up. We were at his house and earlier in the day he asked me how I thought the relationship was going and I said "Good". Later that night I brought up the question and asked him and he had the opposite feeling that I had which I felt like it was coming as we didn't cuddle or he wasn't kissing me like normal. I then asked for a second chance which I was given. That was early Sunday morning and from Monday to early Friday morning there was no communication from him which I knew then that this wasn't going to work out as I feel like if you're in a relationship you want to talk to that person as much as you can (text, in person, on the phone, Skype, etc.). I sent him a message saying that I wanted to have a chat. On Friday night, we ended things and agreed to remain as friends which honestly is a little different for me as I'm not friends with any of my other ex's, although they all abused me in one way or another and he never abused me.

To be honest, I try to be happy and I know God has someone out there for me but it hurts seeing friends and family in relationships, getting married and starting a family.  I know that my time will come and I'll meet my future husband/father of my children and that God isn't making me go through all of my break ups for no reason. He's just showing me the guys that I shouldn't have a future with and that's my dream guy is still out there looking for me.

<3 Amanda 

The Do's And Don't's First Date (Relationships)

First dates are always nerve-wracking because you want the other person to like you. I'm currently in my 4th (and hopefully last relationship) and I will say all of my first dates are all different. I have also went on a dates where nothing advanced after that. Here are my Do's and Don't's for the first date:


DO'S

• Do something that allows you talk. Some ideas are go to dinner or go mini-golfing,
• Do something that you both agree with. If one person doesn't want to go mini-golfing, then work together and figure something else to do The same goes for going out to dinner, the restaurant needs to be one that you both agreed on. 
• Be polite and maintain eye contact.
• Wear an appropriate outfit. If going mini-golfing, heels probably won't feel very well after awhile.
• Do ask them questions about themselves (their work, their family, their hobbies, etc.).

DON'T'S 

• Don't go to a movie for your first date because you can't talk to one another.
• Don't rush anything. If a kiss is going to occur,then both people need to want it to happen or it could be an awkward moment
• Don't talk about past relationships.
• Don't be on your phone throughout the date as it will make your date feel like you don't care about them and what they are talking about,
• Don't be sad if the first date is the only date you'll have with that person. There are more people out there in the same position as you.

<3 Amanda 

Letter To Ex #1

Dear (I'll just call you by the first letter of your name) E,

Thank you for breaking up with me through text about 4 years ago even though you lied to your family about why you broke up with me and I had to tell your mom the real reason of you breaking up with me, You claimed that I wasn't communicating with you like you wanted me to but the real reason was when you kept moving my hand somewhere and I kept pulling my hand away, you got mad because I wouldn't do something, When I told your mom the real reason why you broke up with me, she said that you don't have any sisters, so you didn't know what you were doing was wrong. Bull crap, you were, I think, 26 at the time.You were old enough to know what you were doing was wrong. We then hung out again a few weeks later to see if anything was still there between us, I could tell that you still liked me but I wasn't sure about my feelings. You had to get groceries so I went along. We went back to your house and in that same hour your parents came over ,which was really awkward, We hung out a little bit after they left and the you asked me if I wanted you to take me home which I replied yes. Within the hour,I texted you and said that my feelings for you weren't there anymore.

I begun a new relationship within a month and a half after that night.At that time,I would considered us still friends but you still had feelings for me I could tell.I will never forget the night that I thought you were going to harm me. My boyfriend at the time and I were sitting in his car in the driveway and there was a loud knock at my window.I opened the door and you said "Amanda, what's going on"?  I quickly ran in the house and my dad said "Why didn't you leave?" We didn't see your car,so we didn't know you were at my house,  I tried hiding from you and ran upstairs to my room but thought that you could push me down the stairs so I ran and hid in my brother's old room. You came into the house asking my dad where I was. You found me and started yelling at me.You had me so close against the wall that if you would have pushed me,I would have smashed my head open. I was so afraid and you asked me what I wanted and I screamed at you saying "You know what I want? I want you to leave me alone".You then screamed back at me saying "Fine! I don't want to see you ever again". Then you walked away and your attitude totally changed as you apologized to my dad for acting the way you were acting. I ran to my boyfriend and just cried and cried. He went home and my dad took me to my mom's for the night because we weren't sure if you were going to come back and do anything. Your sister in law and mom were very mean and abusive towards me. They sent me texts and Facebook messages acting like I had just broken up with you when really we wasn't together anymore after you broke up with me and I couldn't see us being together.That was honestly one of the scariest nights in my life. If my dad wasn't home, I don't know if I would be typing this today as I don't how far your temper would have taken you.I had trouble falling asleep for at least a week because whenever I would close my eyes,what happened could replay over and over again

Lastly, since that night I have never seen you again,I know that you're marred now so I guess the nice thing to do would be to say congrats..I'm still looking for my right guy but I know God will show me who he is eventually

Sincerely,

Amanda .