In
simple words, you can say that I am a young lady. But really, I am a young lady
who has had her struggles in the past. In life, everyone has their struggles as
life would be boring without them because they make us who we are. Now my struggles might not sound too extreme
to you, but they are unique to my life.
This winter, I will be turning 27 and I know that I’m still at a young
age so I will have more struggles in the future.
When
I was younger around the age of early elementary school, I was diagnosed with Selective
Mutism, which in basic terms means that my lips were sealed at school and I
would only talk at home or at school to people I was comfortable with. I was
put in speech to help me try to be more talkative and open up more. My speech teacher
was amazing. She even gave my parents her home phone number, so I could call
her at home at nights. Even though it has been many years since that age, I can
still remember that calling her at home and talking on the phone to her was
much easier than talking in person. Thinking about that now, I’m not sure why
that was, maybe because someone wasn’t looking right at me and making fun of
how I was talking. Beside my speech teacher,
my general teachers were always so supportive and encouraging. The never forced
me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.
Throughout
middle and high school, I was still a quiet person but I feel like I improved since
elementary school. I still got that gut feeling in my stomach when I was called
up to do a presentation, but I remembered getting up in front of the class and
looking at whether teacher I had for that hour and just took a few deep
breathes and thought to myself that even if I am a little quiet and maybe the
whole class and the teacher can’t hear everything that I say, that I still got
up in front of everyone and tried my best. There is one teacher that comes to
my mind when I remember getting in front of the class. I had her for Social
Studies in my sixth grade year. We had to do current events and present them to
the class. If I recall correctly, I think I declined out of doing the first presentation
but then I presented the next time we had a current event presentation. I knew beforehand that I had to present
because she had drawn sticks with our names on them, and had our names on the
whiteboard. The day came when I had to present my current event. I got up in
the front and just looked around and looked at her, and begun. Before I knew I was
finished. When she passed out our current events back to us, I had a smiley
face drawn on mine. Just by looking at
that showed me that she truly cared about me and was proud of me.
Going
along the same lines of my Selective Mutism is bullying. All throughout elementary, middle and high
school I was bullied. I’m pretty sure I
was bullied because of how I looked and the way I talked. Being bullied really sucked and was something that
I struggled with. I actually transferred
school my senior year of high school due to being bullied. I didn’t tell the
principal or anyone the real reason of why I wanted to be transferred to the
other high school in my city. You could
say that I let the bullies win by transferring but to be honest I don’t care
that they won in that sense because in my opinion, I won even more I met a ton of new friends and the teachers
were amazing (not saying that my teachers from my former high school wasn’t amazing
as well).
I
have had some personal family struggles as well that kind of affected my whole
immediate family. The summer before my sophomore year of high school, my mom
was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. That changed a lot to our family. She wasn’t able to drive anymore due to her
reflexes. She also walked slower, her penmanship wasn’t really legible anymore
and she had to get glasses. A few years
back, she actually had Deep Brain Stimulation and had a pace maker put in her
chest. Also, in 2015, she fell and broke 9 ribs resulting in her being in a rehabilitation
center from early October to early December. I know
that it was only a few months but you still don’t know what could happen throughout
that time.
When
I was in my early twenties, my parents separated and got a divorce. Even though I was in my early twenties, it
still affected me a little. No child at
any age wants their parents to get a divorce. But I knew that it was the right thing to do.
My older brothers and I were actually surprised they stayed together as long as
they did as we thought they would have been divorced years back. Sometimes a marriage doesn’t work out and parents
need to separate but their child(ren) should never blame themselves.
The
final topic I wanted to chat about is friends. We all need friends in our
lives. One thing that is important to remember is that friends change over
time. Your childhood friends might not be your adult friends, and the same goes
with your friends from high school or even college. Everyone has their own path and journey and should
be allowed to do something that they love and makes them happy. There were many friends I had in the past and
in recent years even that I’m no longer friends with and even though that makes
me sad, I still hope the best for them.
If
you’re ever walking around outside or in a mall, and perhaps you are a people
watcher. Even though you are a people watcher, you don’t really know them deep
down and personally. You might see them laughing and smiling with friends but
they might be going through something serious. A key thing to do each day is to make someone’s
day different. You don’t even have to do much; a smile or a “Hi” goes a long
way.
<3 Amanda
