Preventing Bullying

Hey guys,

Since today is the first day of school in my district, I wanted to write this post because I think it's an important topic especially since school is just beginning. As you can tell by the title of this post, this is about bullying prevention. Now, I have been in the shoes of someone being bullied a lot throughout my school years so I unfortunately know how it feels to be bullied. If you're being bullied and feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, you are always welcomed to send me a message through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or E-mail (I'll have them all listed below). 

Bullying is a serious issue throughout the world and needs to end! Nobody should have to go through being bullied. It's really sad to see on Facebook News reports of kids/teens committing suicide because they think that the only way out from getting bullied. The statistics are also sad to read (StopBullying.com, 2018) :

• 28% of U.S. students in grades 6–12  and 20% of U.S. students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying. -You may say only 28% and 20% ,those sound like low percentages, but in all honestly those percentages are high in this situation. The percentage for both of those grades groups should be 0. 
• Approximately 30% of young people admit to bullying others in surveys.-Although they were honest in the surveys, they should put themselves in the kids they bullys' shoes and see how being bullied affects them.
• The most common types of bullying are verbal and social. Physical bullying happens less often. Cyberbullying happens the least frequently. -Since social media is growing and the number of cell phones and electronics are increasing, I feel cyber bullying is happening more. Kids/teens think if they bully someone through social media sites it isn't bullying because they are not saying it directly to their face but it is absolutely still considered bullying. 
• Only about 20 to 30% of students who are bullied notify adults about the bullying. -Some kids/teens think if they tell on their bullies that will only make them bully them even more. I will say that I've been nervous to tell educators about what was going on. 
• There is no federal anti-bullying law. Although 49 states have anti-bullying legislation, bullying is not illegal. - Bullying should be illegal because it does more harm than some people realize. 

Parents/Guardians- Please talk to your children about bullying and that being a bully will not be tolerated. If they see a friend or a classmate being bullied, encourage them to go tell an educator.

Educators- Please keep an eye out for bullying occurring in your classroom and school. If you see bullying going on please talk to the student that is bullying. If a student informs you of bullying happening, please know that they are telling you because they trust you, and please again talk to the student who is bullying.

Students- Please know that if you're being bullied, you don't have to deal with it by yourself. Educators are there to help you and keep you safe. If you don't want to tell your teacher/principal/ counselor what's going on ask a friend to tell them. I'm sure they will keep you anonymous if you ask them to.

Remember, I have been in your shoes and I'm here if you need someone to talk to. 

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I hope everyone has a great school year!!

StopBullying.com (2018). Facts About Bullying. [online] StopBullying.gov. Available at: https://www.stopbullying.gov/media/facts/index.html [Accessed 22 Aug. 2018].


<3 Amanda 

Walk Out OR Walk Up

 ( https://www.pinterest.com/pin/556757572657901578/ )

Hey guys,

I know that this isn't' really a recent topic but at the same time it is.  There has unfortunately been school shootings every few weeks it feels like. That's when the big debate of "Walk Out OR Walk Up" came upon.  People think that having teachers carry guns in schools will help decrease the number of shootings but what if a student overcomes a teacher and gets a hold of the gun? Yes, other teachers could have their own gun but if it's just one teacher per class like it normally is then it might be still too late for help to arrive.

I was personally against Walking Out the day it happened and was 110% for Walking Up.  Walking Out won't really do anything in my opinion. Yes, the government will see students and others walk out but they will still do whatever they want to do because they are the government. Walking Out also took learning time out. Even though, it was only for 17 minutes each minute is valuable because everyone wants a good education and want to learn as much as they can.  If I was a student, I would remain in my seat and watch others walk out even if I was told to walk out, I wouldn't. This reminded me of our senior prank where all the seniors planned to walk out of first hour at a particular time. The time came and I remained in my seat along with another senior (and a few others who weren't seniors). They came back after a few minutes and our teacher was pissed. He made us do an additional assignment just because they walked out. The rest of the day, all of the teachers were not happy with us because of them walking out of class. That just show how others make you end up in trouble when you didn't do anything and you were the good student.

 ( https://www.pinterest.com/nolaalma/bullying/ )

I am all for Walking Up to students who might be picked on, bullied and sit alone. I have sadly been bullied all throughout my school years. Bullying needs to end because it does absolutely no good to anyone. I'm tired of seeing posts on Facebook about young kids especially committing suicide because they were getting bullied and think it's the best way of ending getting bullied because it's not.  It's sad to read because they had their whole life ahead of them and now they won't have a future. Kids are getting bullied because of how they dress, act, talk and etc. Who cares if someone dress or talk different than you? That's what makes all of us unique because it would be a boring world if everyone was exactly the same.

I am an advocate for anti-bullying so if you or anyone need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a e-mail and I will e-mail you back . I will try to help you as best as I can because I have been through your shoes before and wished there were more people that I could turn to when I was younger.


<3 Amanda

Anti-Bullying YouTube Families

(https://www.pinterest.com/blurryfacemuke/stop-bullying/?lp=true)

Hey guys,

I sadly have been bullied the majority of my life and I just turned 27 recently. One of the goals I had for my blog is to be a part of stopping bullying because it doesn't do any good for anyone. Being a part of social media, I have seen others promoting anti-bullying as well on their social media accounts, whether that is YouTube, Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. Two YouTube families that I noticed right away that they were role model families and are anti-bullying are The Bos Life and The Tannerites. Now, I'm not saying there are not any other YouTube families who are anti-bullying, these are the two that I have noticed that has made a big impact on many people recently.

You can find the Bos Life here. They posted an anti-bullying video last month which really meant a lot to me because like I said above, I've been bullied the majority of my life and I'm only 27. You can view the video by clicking here. They created a hashtag; #BeCool. Being a bully is not cool. What cool is being nice to everyone because they might be going through things that you are not aware of. If you're a bully, how would you feel if it was the opposite and you were the one getting bullied?  To me, The Bos Family is a family that I really look up to as role models because whenever I watch their videos I just get this good feeling inside. Thank you Bos Family for being a great role model to not just me but I know a lot more of your subscribers. Thank you for being a good influence and making a great impact on social media.

You can find The Tannerites here. Their whole motto is "You Are Worth It". I think that's a great motto to have and to express to others because everyone IS worth it.  Whenever you see someone sad, upset, down, even happy, you should tell them that they are worth it because you might not see their true real feelings that they might be hiding deep down inside of them.  Johnny and Sarah are also great role models to all of their subscribers. Thank you for being a good influence and making a great impact on social media.


I definitely recommend these 2 YouTube Families. If you ever need some cheering up or a smile, you will feel better after watching their videos. Remember, you don't gain anything from being a bully!

<3 Amanda

To Install Sarahah Or Not?

(https://www.sarahah.com/)

Hey guys,

You might have seen a new app popping up on social media and that is the Sarahah app. I have heard about it and it reminds me of apps in the past; Askfm and Formspring. I personally am not going to install it because in my opinion it is just another way that bullies can get away with bullying others. This app allows the sender to remain anonymous so the person who you're sending a message to can't see who you are. I know some of my friends installed it and that is totally their choice but again, I'm not going to.

<3 Amanda

Who Am I?

Hey guys,

In simple words, you can say that I am a young lady. But really, I am a young lady who has had her struggles in the past. In life, everyone has their struggles as life would be boring without them because they make us who we are.  Now my struggles might not sound too extreme to you, but they are unique to my life.  This winter, I will be turning 27 and I know that I’m still at a young age so I will have more struggles in the future.

When I was younger around the age of early elementary school, I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism, which in basic terms means that my lips were sealed at school and I would only talk at home or at school to people I was comfortable with. I was put in speech to help me try to be more talkative and open up more. My speech teacher was amazing. She even gave my parents her home phone number, so I could call her at home at nights. Even though it has been many years since that age, I can still remember that calling her at home and talking on the phone to her was much easier than talking in person. Thinking about that now, I’m not sure why that was, maybe because someone wasn’t looking right at me and making fun of how I was talking.  Beside my speech teacher, my general teachers were always so supportive and encouraging. The never forced me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. 

Throughout middle and high school, I was still a quiet person but I feel like I improved since elementary school. I still got that gut feeling in my stomach when I was called up to do a presentation, but I remembered getting up in front of the class and looking at whether teacher I had for that hour and just took a few deep breathes and thought to myself that even if I am a little quiet and maybe the whole class and the teacher can’t hear everything that I say, that I still got up in front of everyone and tried my best. There is one teacher that comes to my mind when I remember getting in front of the class. I had her for Social Studies in my sixth grade year. We had to do current events and present them to the class. If I recall correctly, I think I declined out of doing the first presentation but then I presented the next time we had a current event presentation.  I knew beforehand that I had to present because she had drawn sticks with our names on them, and had our names on the whiteboard. The day came when I had to present my current event. I got up in the front and just looked around and looked at her, and begun. Before I knew I was finished. When she passed out our current events back to us, I had a smiley face drawn on mine.  Just by looking at that showed me that she truly cared about me and was proud of me.

Going along the same lines of my Selective Mutism is bullying.  All throughout elementary, middle and high school I was bullied.  I’m pretty sure I was bullied because of how I looked and the way I talked.  Being bullied really sucked and was something that I struggled with.  I actually transferred school my senior year of high school due to being bullied. I didn’t tell the principal or anyone the real reason of why I wanted to be transferred to the other high school in my city.  You could say that I let the bullies win by transferring but to be honest I don’t care that they won in that sense because in my opinion, I won even more  I met a ton of new friends and the teachers were amazing (not saying that my teachers from my former high school wasn’t amazing as well).

I have had some personal family struggles as well that kind of affected my whole immediate family. The summer before my sophomore year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. That changed a lot to our family.  She wasn’t able to drive anymore due to her reflexes. She also walked slower, her penmanship wasn’t really legible anymore and she had to get glasses.  A few years back, she actually had Deep Brain Stimulation and had a pace maker put in her chest. Also, in 2015, she fell and broke 9 ribs resulting in her being in a rehabilitation center from early October to early December.   I know that it was only a few months but you still don’t know what could happen throughout that time.

When I was in my early twenties, my parents separated and got a divorce.  Even though I was in my early twenties, it still affected me a little.  No child at any age wants their parents to get a divorce.  But I knew that it was the right thing to do. My older brothers and I were actually surprised they stayed together as long as they did as we thought they would have been divorced years back.  Sometimes a marriage doesn’t work out and parents need to separate but their child(ren) should never blame themselves.

The final topic I wanted to chat about is friends. We all need friends in our lives. One thing that is important to remember is that friends change over time. Your childhood friends might not be your adult friends, and the same goes with your friends from high school or even college.  Everyone has their own path and journey and should be allowed to do something that they love and makes them happy.  There were many friends I had in the past and in recent years even that I’m no longer friends with and even though that makes me sad, I still hope the best for them.

If you’re ever walking around outside or in a mall, and perhaps you are a people watcher. Even though you are a people watcher, you don’t really know them deep down and personally. You might see them laughing and smiling with friends but they might be going through something serious.  A key thing to do each day is to make someone’s day different. You don’t even have to do much; a smile or a “Hi” goes a long way. 

<3 Amanda 

Please Vote For My Article?

Hey guys,

In the magazine that my article  ("How Being Bullied Helped Me Grow") is in, they are asking you to vote for your favorite article from each section of the magazine (DIY, Beauty, Lifestyle, etc). I would love for you to vote for my article because it is a personal experience that I sadly had to go though and also so many other people still up to this day. One main reason why I wrote my article about what I did was that I wanted to help bring more awareness to bullying and help put an end to it. Bullying is not needed; never was and never will be.

Thank you to everyone that has voted for me. I really do truly appreciate it. Even if I don't win, I'll still be proud because (1) I got my first article in a magazine and (2) I was a part of bringing awareness to bullying and making a stop to it.


<3 Amanda 

Draw My Life

Hey guys,

I have seen this going around YouTube a lot before so I wanted to do one as well but I wanted to do a Blogger version. I'm not a good drawer so please bear with me. This was a fun post to create. I hope you enjoy it!

I was born on December 28th, 1990 making me 26 years old.  I was my parents' third child with 2 older brothers "D" and "B".

In elementary school, I was the quiet student. I was actually diagnosed with Selective Mutism. My teachers were understanding and didn't force me to talk if I didn't want to. You can check out my post about overcoming Selective Mutism here.

When I was 7, my mom had my younger brother, "J".

The summer before my sophomore year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. She was only 45 years old. Since then she has had Deep Brain Stimulation Surgery (D.B.S). You can check out how it is to have a parent with Parkinson's Disease, here.

I was in my first relationship at age 21. We broke up before 2 months. You can read why we broke up here.

In 2013, my parents got divorced. My older brothers and I knew that it was coming. We actually thought it would happened earlier.

My second boyfriend was in 2012-2014. We were actually engaged but he broke off the engagement with the reasoning that his feelings changed. It turned out in the end that he was cheating on me.

Since then, I have been in 5 other relationships which you can read in the picture of how they all ended.  I have been cheated on, abused and ditched. 

In 2013 after being graduated for some time, I decided to enroll in an online college for Early Childhood Development. In 2015, I completed my Associate Degree. During those years, I developed some great friendships with "A", "K" and "S". 

I decided to continue my schooling and currently in the process of finishing my Bachelor year. I only have 4 more classes left! Here are some online college tips.

One of the main reasons that I started my blog is to bring awareness to bullying. Throughout elementary,middle and high schools, I have been bullied. I want to help put an end to it. Check out my post about ending bullying here.

Due to some personal circumstances in my life at the time, I needed a way to vent and that's when I decided to start a blog. First blog post, here. Stay tuned for an updated post about where I am now.

Even though I have some hard times which everyone does. I know that there are plenty of more good times ahead.

<3 Amanda 

No Man Should Ever Hit A Woman

(https://www.pinterest.com/pin/482448178804088637/)

Hey guys,

I was debating on writing a blog post about this just because I didn't want to provide any information about where I'm located (for safety/privacy reasons) but this just made me really mad and sad. I told myself that I needed to write a blog post about this to bring awareness. There will be missing information from this story as I don't want to give location/names for others privacy. 

Here's the story:

I have seen on Facebook that a family friend since we were little was assaulted by a "man". It's hard to call him a man because if he was a man, he wouldn't have hit her. She now sadly has two black eyes, a concussion, and a fractured eye. Their school allowed him (even though they said he was suspended for 10 days) to go back to school to finish some important testing, which I think is stupid. Yes, testing is important but also my friend's safety is way more important.  What is also stupid is that she and her family have been told that if she posted on Social Media about what happened, that she could get suspended.  

NO GUY SHOULD EVER LAY THEIR HANDS ON A WOMAN. I have been abused myself but not that badly and it makes me sad that she had to go through that. An ex tried to force me to have sex with him,  I have been pushed up against a wall not letting me move which felt like forever and was yelled at which emotionally abused me. I have also been pushed and fallen onto a computer chair and got a pretty bad bruised foot by having it slammed into a door, which physically abused me. 

Something else that makes me mad is that she was just sticking up for her best friend who he was bullying and he then decided to go after her later in the day. This again just makes me mad because it is telling other girls that if they stick up for their friends who are getting bullied, that they will be the one who gets attacked.  Bullying needs to end!


If you see someone getting bullied, please tell a teacher or school official. These stories makes me sad and mad to read and hear about.


<3 Amanda 

"Hey Bully": Morgan Frazier

Hey guys,

I just wanted to tell you about an amazing new song that I recently heard on Pandora, which has turned into one of my new favorite songs. The song is called "Hey Bully" and sung by Morgan Frazier.  She was actually a contestant on the TV show "The Voice" in 2015.  This song got my attention and touched me because I was bullied back throughout my school years (especially middle school).

Bullying needs to end and we all need to be a part of it ending. We all should be nice to one another because honestly, there is no reason to be mean to one another. Everyone should listen to this song,especially the kids (and even adults) who bully others because we are all alike. We all want to be happy and make new friends, not enemies.

"Hey Bully": Morgan Frazier (Official Music Video)

If any of you are being bullied and you want to talk to someone, you can always message me and I will respond! 

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<3 Amanda 

Dear Bullies

Dear Bullies,

I first just want to say "I made it". I graduated high school,have my Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Development and currently going for my Bachelor's Degree in Early Childhood Development. I'm proud to tell you that during my Associate year and into my Bachelor's year, I have always been on either the President's List or Dean's List.

You may have thought since you bullied me,I would give up and not go for my dreams and goals but you thought wrong. I'm still going for my dreams and goals. They are my dreams and even if you think I won't achieve them, who cares what you think honestly? I don't need people in my life that pushes me down and tell me that I can't achieve my goals or can't reach for my dreams. I need supportive people and people who encourages me. I will achieve my goals and reach my dreams.

From: Amanda 

I hope all of the bullies I had in school decided to quit bullying because bullies are just a negative part of life. We need to put an end to bullying. There is no need to bully others because everyone is unique in their own way.


<3 Amanda

International Day Against Homophobia And Transphobia (IDAHOT)(BEDM Day17)

Before I write my post for today, I just want to say this is my own view and it's okay if you have a different view than me because this is America and everyone can have their own views on subjects. 

When it comes to marriages, I seen no differences when it's man and woman or male and male,or female and female. My view is if they are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together, then they should be able to.Why should we take peoples' happiness away? I do have a brother and a few friends who fit in this category but do I treat them or view them any differently from others? No.Why not you ask,because they are people just like us and finds happiness in another man or woman. 

When it comes to people discriminating against lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender and intersex people, I would call that a sign of bullying because it's not right to make fun of people, to call them names or to be just plain mean to them. So what if people are different then you; how boring would it be if we were all the same?

<3 Amanda 

Bullying Needs To End!

Bullying was one of the main things that I had to deal with in middle and high school. I would get called names, other students would just be mean to me on purpose and one time in middle school another student tripped me in the hallway but a teacher saw her do it and the sad thing is I don’t think she got in any trouble. That same girl used to follow me in the hallways as we switched classes. I started to walk faster to each of my classes so she couldn’t catch up to me.

Bullying needs to stop!!  I have been out of high school for almost 7 years now and I still see acts of bullying when I go volunteer at an elementary school. There needs to be more acts of kindness and bullying needs to disappear!!  The facts are difficult to read. Did you know that 160,000 kids in the US stay home every day because of bullying, or that Eighty-three percent of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen(van der Zande, I, 2014).  If you see a classmate getting bullied, stand up for them. You don’t have to go over there and get into the bully’s face and tell them to quit being a bully. Go find a teacher you trust and bring them to the incident that is going on.

Bullying doesn’t always happen at school.  Bullying can happen through the internet, called cyber bullying. If you are being cyber bullied tell you parents. They will most likely tell you to print off what the bully is saying to you to use as “proof” if it gets way out of hand and if your parents and yourself need help from a higher level like your school principal or sometime authorities.

If you are being bullied and need someone that you can trust and want to talk to for advice, Don’t be afraid to contact me, I have been in your shoes, write a comment with your email and I'll email you. If you’re a bully, please stop and take a look in the mirror and ask yourself these questions:

1.      Why am I being mean?

2.      What makes me better than the people I bully?

3.      How would it make me feel if I was being bullied?

Now, I know that sometimes being bullied can make you a bully because you want to take your anger out on other people but if you want to stop being a bully, talk to your parents or a school counselor and let them know that you are done being a bully and ask them for help if you are having trouble.

After reading this, think of one way that you can spread the act of kindness? What’s one way that you can pay it forward?

Reference:

Van der Zande, Irene. (2014). "Bullying Facts and Solutions: Upsetting Statistics and 4 Actions You Can Take." Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International. N.p., n.d. Web. 9 July 2014. http://www.kidpower.org/library/article/bullying-facts/

<3 Amanda