Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Abuse In Relationships (BEDM Day 24)

This topic is something that not a lot of people know that I have sadly gone through more than once.I feel like other women have gone through this and are sadly currently going through so I wanted to tell my story and let other woman know that if they want to talk to someone, that I'm here. Here's my story:

 I am 25 and have only been in four relationships(currently in my fourth and hopefully last). My three ex's all abused me in one way or another.  I met my first ex in March of 2012. Things were going well until one night at his house he tried placing my hand near a part of his body. I kept backing my hand away so he wouldn't do it again but he kept trying. He then asked me if I wanted him to take me home and I said yes. The next day, he texted me and broke up with me using the excuse that I wasn't communicating with him like he wanted me to.That day his mom texted me saying that she was sorry that we didn't work out. I told her the real reason why he broke up with me and her excuse was "He doesn't have any sisters so he didn't know what he was doing was wrong". What??!! He was 26 at the time and should have knew better. It doesn't matter that he doesn't have any sisters. 

Another time that he was abusive was when I was hanging out in my second ex's car in my driveway one night. He knocked on my window and I opened my door. "What's going on Amanda?", He asked. I then quickly ran into the house and my dad asked me why didn't we leave when we saw him. I told him we didn't see him because we didn't have the car on. I ran upstairs to my room but then I thought he could push me down the stairs so I ran down to the main floor and tried hiding in my younger brother's old room. He found me and started screaming at me. He had me so close up against the wall that if he would have pushed me, I would have smashed my head. I was so terrified at that point because I didn't know what he was going to do. He screamed at me and asked me what I wanted. I screamed back at him saying "You know what I want? I want you to leave me alone." He then screamed back saying that he never wanted to see me again. He walked back into the kitchen and told my dad in a 180 degree tone that he was sorry for what just happened.  To this day, I have not seen him. My dad told me that he was very close to calling the cops because he didn't know what my ex would do. I'm so happy that my dad was home that night because I honestly don't know if I would be here today if he wasn't. I went to my mom's that night just in case he came back and tried anything.  That night I received a few Facebook messages from his mom and sister-in-law that were very verbally abusive to me.

I met my second ex in June of 2012. We were together for almost three years and was engaged. Thinking about the relationship now, I don't know why I stayed with him for that long. Our first Christmas together, he bought me a 1-pound Hershey Chocolate Bar and I don't remember if he put it in the fridge or freezer but he made me eat it and that is how two of my front teeth got broken. When it happened, his response was something like "I knew that was going to happen" and he acted happy about it. The abuse didn't stop there. He broke off the engagement in 2014( we were supposed to get married on 10-04-2014;so it would be 10+4=14). I had proof that he was cheating on me and asked him about it and then he broke off the engagement because he got caught. Earlier that year,he pushed me down and I fell on a computer chair and he also slammed my foot in a door making my foot black and blue. I thought he was the one but I guess God showed me that he wasn't and that I'm better without him. After we were broken up for good, his sister was very verbally abusive towards me.  

I took a break from getting into another relationship for awhile. I mean I hung out with other guys but didn't begin a new relationship until this past February.  Things again were going well until I figured out that he only wanted me for sex. I ended it after finding out that he was also talking to other girls and lied to me about it until I showed him that I had proof. He basically asked me what would happen if he remain talking to them. I been cheated on before(second ex) so I knew the signs and I didn't want to go through that again. So I broke up with him.

I recently begun a new relationship with an amazing guy. He likes me for me. He makes me really happy. These past two months have had a lot of downs for me but when I met him and started talking to him, I became happy again. I haven't smiled and laughed this much in a long time and it's a nice change.

<3 Amanda

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